Pondering Life and Love

Just fyi, this blog will probably not make a lot of sense to a lot of people because I am going in no particular order or flow...it's just me thinking about life and love.

I have been single for about 5 years now mostly because I need to get to know myself and be happy without a man for a while. I have become more confident in myself over the past few years. It took some serious soul searching, but I now realize that I am never going to be perfect, but I do know that I am a good person with faults. (aren't we all??).

I truly believe that in order to be happy with another person, you have to have a relationship with yourself and (in my case) God. If I don't have that, then what do I have to give to a person I am sharing so much with? not a heck of a whole lot.

• why is it that people ask me if I have a boyfriend or love interest? don't they realize that there is nothing wrong with me? I know they mean well, but they way they talk about me "needing to find someone" makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me and I know for sure there isn't.
• Men aren't going anywhere. I know that if I wait for a while, they will still be there and I will have time to actually BE with someone and care for them in the way both they and I deserve.
• I am so busy with school. I have the entire ed. program ahead of me and it consumes my life. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids in the classroom I'm assigned to and my mentor teacher is so wonderful and supportive. I am so thankful for that. I know that I am one of the lucky ones who have a teacher, principal, staff and class who are just plain wonderful and supportive of me. Any free time I have, I have to schedule to do homework, sleep, shower, or even be with my family. how sad is that? really...scheduling things other people take for granted. who needs more complications like relationships when dealing with this other stuff?
• I noticed I am so much more confident of myself in the classroom and that is reflecting on the rest of my life and other areas in my life. i think that will reflect and show for something when i do get a chance to actually date. this is who i really am. yes i am single, but I am happy and confident in my abilities, life, etc for the first time in a LONG time.
• people should be able to celebrate my new found confidence rather than waiting to celebrate me finding a boyfriend. or worse yet, making the fact that i don't have a relationship with a man, a terrible "ordeal" and something that needs to be "fixed". there's nothing wrong with me.

It's possible to be happy without a man. I am. I'm Independent. Maybe that scares some people. They should evaluate their own lives. Because if you need a man or woman to be happy, you are really not happy with yourself and need to not be in a relationship either.